A David Sedaris Christmas

I've had a very wonderful Christmas here in Seoul. I feel very blessed for the love that people have shown me. It's amazing to me how quickly you can meet great people that make you feel like you are nearly home for the big holiday. A group of co-workers and friends put on a dinner late last night for Christmas Eve after we got off work. We had such a good time. I was surrounded by great people, amazing home-cooked food, drinks, and constant laughs. I came home in the early morning and began skyping with family (my oldest brother on the east coast), and upon waking this morning I was right back on skype with the rest of my family in Oregon (who have been without water and electricity for over four days now!). They were down spending the afternoon with my Nana, enjoying Christmas dinner, opening presents, and taking showers! It's hard to see your family all together and see all of them joking with each other, and being their crazy-selves, and not being able to be crazy right along with them. But thank goodness for skype and being able to see all of their faces and hearing all of their laughs. I later got to talk with one of my best friends, Linda, who has been living outside of Philadelphia since I left for Korea. She's been doing a project where she works with kids in an impoverished neighborhood, while living in poverty herself. She luckily was able to return to Oregon for the holidays and see her family. It was so great to finally see her face and chat with her! It's crazy how much you can miss a person, and how seeing them for just a minute brings back all memories as if you'd never been apart. It warmed my heart, to say the least.

I spent the late afternoon at another friends house, where a small group of us shared in a Christmas feast and a viewing of Home Alone. It felt like Christmas with the family! We all just lounged around, cozy, stuffed to the brim, watching a cheesy holiday movie, while I fell in and out of sleep (that's when you know I feel like I'm home). 

And tonight, I finally made it back to my apartment, to the remaining portion of my sister's amazing Christmas present. This Christmas present was so awesome, it deserves an entire blog on it's own really. My amazing sister put together a very interactive plan for me to open my presents this year. She sent several individually wrapped gifts, each with a different color bow on them. She sent a stack of 13 hand-made cards, and inside each card was instructions of which present to open, and things I needed to do for the opening of each present. I realized a little late that I was supposed to open cards/presents 1-6 when I first received the package (over a week ago)! So in talking to her late last night she informed me I was already supposed to open them! As I opened each of the first presents I found white christmas lights, an abstract tree made of pailettes, wire, and beads (you can kinda see in the pictures below), 2 dozen candles, and best of all, she made me garland from brightly colored felt, cut into multi-sized circles, sewing them into a very long strand! This I will be sporting all year round in my apartment. It is so unbelievably awesome. 

So tonight I came home and opened card seven which told me to warm up some milk, plug in the christmas lights, light the candles, and have 1.5 hours of uninterrupted time to spare. And then I opened present seven which was hot chocolate mix, and present eight, which was moose mix (which is awesome if you don't already know it). I made my hot chocolate, and then opened up another present which was a cd with a few Christmas songs, and David Sedaris' Santa Land Diaries from an NPR show, a couple years back. It's about him being an elf at Macy's Herald Square one Christmas season, his hate of the job, and his dreaming of being part of the soap opera, One Life to Live. It is beyond hilarious. His sense of humor is so dry and so good. The cd then ended with another couple Christmas songs. 

Lastly, I opened my remaining four presents: Candy, jewelry, and lingerie. What more could a girl want? (I won't actually answer that.)

There's really only one way to sum up this Christmas present: Totally Awesome. Rawr. (TBTL style.) Even mentioning the present to my friends, they all exclaimed, "Man! I want to meet your sister!" This after she knit me rad wool mittens for my birthday last month. And I'm sure, after reading this blog, you want to meet her too. You probably want her to be your sister. She is the greatest there ever was. I'm so blessed. 

I'll leave you now with pictures I took during the 1.5 hours of bliss:

(Sister's present all set-up, David Sedaris playing on the computer.)

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I miss and love you all!

Reasons I Haven't Posted In So Long

1. Just to piss off the people that actually read this blog. (sister):

2. I've been preoccupied with Korean Boys (The exact opposite actually. They just happened to be swarming me that night.):

3. I've been starring at my Christmas presents for hours on end:

4. I've been wrapping your presents for hours on end! (No seriously, hours. See those little flowers on the presents? They don't just make themselves. They take 2 hands. And those hands would be mine. Can't type when I'm making flowers out of thin air.) Ps ... last crafty project of 2008. I'm spent.

5. My friend Collin came to visit. It was awesome to have a friend come and stay with me. I realized how much I miss people from back home! And having him here also got me out to see some sights I'd yet to explore. One of those being Namsan Tower (Seoul Tower). It's so close to where I live, yet I hadn't gone to see it yet. We went on a shitty night (hazy), but Collin got a great shot of the tower nonetheless (below). 

6. Because I get busy and forget. Plain and simple. But I'll start remembering. I'm glad there are people out there actually reading it. Makes my heart ... warm.

Oh You're So Silent, Jens

Last night I went to the Jens Lekman show and it was awesome! He is so adorable, so quirky, and oh so brilliant. He played a great, great show. Probably the best I'll see here in Korea. And I even got to meet him after the show! I basically acted like a crazy stalker complimenting him, while he was, true to form, silent and embarrassed. And then I asked for a picture with him, on my phone (which did not turn out- hatred of self) and he replied "So, I'm forever gonna be in your phone?". "To which I said, yeah, wanna give me your number?" Ok, that last part I didn't really say. But I should have. 

I recorded a video which would be awesome for you all to see, but I can't figure out how to upload it yet. Maybe soon..... until then, here's another photo.

Law and Learl

Yesterday marked the end of my first term at CDI. It was a little sad. I've really grown to love the kids I have and after 13 weeks you begin to form bonds with the kids, making the classroom a fun environment. But, they have to keep us on our toes, and the kids need a rounded experience. So, here I am tonight, prepping for all of my new students as tomorrow marks the first day in a brand new 13 week period. 

Below are some pics and some funny (and not so funny) stories from some of my kids this term. Most people reading my blog or talking to me regularly the last 13 weeks have grown to love Intae, one of my middle school boys. There are 10 times more quotes from him as he's pretty much the class clown and totally hilarious all around. I will say though, I'm kinda glad to be getting rid of him. He was a tough one.

~

The first great story comes from the title of this blog. I was teaching the "The Roots of Rock and Roll" and one of Lessons had a passage that focused on Elvis Presley being "Raw and Real". All the kids kept saying "Law and Learl". All 3 of my classes. Not a single kid didn't say it. And to make it worse, the text book made "raw and real" the answer for 3 different questions and had it in our memorization summary! The kids were just sitting there repeating, "law and learl, law and learl." It was torture and yet so hilarious!

~

Intae: "Teachu! Mosquitos biting my face!"

Me: "I know! I was bitten a bunch yesterday!"

Intae: "Even cold, they don't die! You want to save face Teachu? Don't wash feet for one week, and sleep like this (gesturing his feet hanging over the bed). They will eat feet! Not face!"

Me: (Laughing) "Ummm, thanks Intae."

Intae: "Yaaaah." (Looking all smart and proud of himself)

(The wrath of Intae. He kept screaming when I'd try and take his picture.)

~

On the last day of class, Intae raises his hand:

Intae: "Teachu, question."

Me: "Ok."

Intae: "You and Britney Spears. Who is more pretty Teachu?"

Me: "Intae I will not answer that because it's inappropriate. It has nothing to do with our reading." (Intae always wants to talk about my face and my looks. He makes a comment every single day without fail.)

Intae: (Basically cutting me off) "Answer!! Britney Spears."

Me: "Intae, that is not ok. We are not talking about that right now."

Intae: "Teachu you should say Britney Spears."

Me: "Intae you are being rude. You need to stop."

Intae: "Britney Spears?"

Me: "Intae! Do you want a check on the board?!"

Intae: (Screams) "Teachu! Joke Teachu! Joke! I'm sorry teachu. I'm sorry!!!!" (Starts flipping out and screaming as I approach the board and give him a check.)

~

After final exams, before the kids actually knew their scores, Intae was kind of freaking out that he wasn't going to pass. This was probably because he kept sleeping during the writing portion of the test. I woke him up three times, but he never actually did any of the writing. So a couple weeks ago, all the kids were asking me if I knew whether or not they passed and moved up to the next level. I really had no idea, so I told them no. 

Intae starts telling me he has to pass or he will die. 

Intae: "Teachuuuu! Mom will kill me!"

Me: (Laughing) "Your mom will not kill you Intae."

Intae: "Learlly Teachu! She kill me!"

Me: (Still laughing) "Well, Intae, if you don't want to die, you should have done the writing part of your test instead of sleeping."

Intae: "Teachuuuu! Learlly, learlly, learlly! She kill me! Thursday holiday. Home all day and mom beat me! Low kick, high kick. Low kick, high kick. Teachuuu!"

Me: (Really trying not to laugh) "Intae you will be ok. The scores might not come out till Friday."

Intae: "Teachuu! Pleeeaaase."

Me: "What Intae? I don't know anything. All I know is if you did your homework and all of your quiz scores were good, then you just have to hope your test score is ok without the writing part."

Intae: "yah, yah."

Me: "And do you remember your homework and quiz scores?"

Intae: "Yah, yah." (Completely avoiding eye contact with me because he knows he had terrible scores all term. Not to mention he is a repeat offender for this same level class.)

Me: "So this goes for all of you! If you did not pass, and you did not level up, next term you must do all of your homework and study for the quizzes. Right?"

Intae: "What? No. Yah, yah."

Me: "Did you hear me Intae?"

Intae: "Yah. Teachu, mom kill me." (Looking distraught.)

Me: "No she won't Intae. I'm sure your mom is a very nice lady."

Intae: "No. She look like you teachu. Big eyes, little nose. Surgery teachu."

Me: "Umm, ok Intae, enough."

In the end, Intae didn't level up. And he didn't tell his mom for an entire week. The school actually ended up having to call her. He's such a crazy child.

~

In one of my Tera Memory classes, my elementary student Clare failed her final exam and didn't level up to reading with her friends.  She came into class really bummed that day, but she kept making jokes about it. 

Clare: "Teachu, my brain not work so good." (Pointing to her head while shaking it.)

Me: (Laughing along with her friends) "Oh my god, Clare that's not true! You are a very smart girl."

Clare: "Oh My Tera Teachu, bad brain!"

(This day, Clare came in and said she was sick, and proceeded to show me by putting on her mask during class.)

 

(My elementary girls: Clare, Sunny, Grace, Jenny, Lesley, Sara.)

(They kept hiding from me but I finally caught them. Peter, John sticking out his tongue, Yun Woo, and Tom. )

(The boys hiding, and John, showing us his bad habit of flipping people off. And this shot is a real treat as he's rocking the double-bird in cross formation.)

(Steven doing his model pose.)

(Some Middle schoolers: Tina, Yoo Ji Won, Cremin, Brown, Steven, Jude, Seong Jae.)

(Jude teaching the girls something during snack party.)

Funny stories about Jude. Jude is kind of a pervert. I've thought this since the first day he walked into my class. But confirmed it when he drew a penis and testicles on the back of his test one day. 

This week we were talking about American Bandstand and Dick Clark's name was in our listening passage. The kids start asking for me to spell his name on the board. I spell it out. 

Jude starts laughing: "Dick teachu? Like Dick?"

I immediately stop him as I knew that might happen. 

Me: "Actually it is a shortened version for Richard." (As I'm trying to keep myself from laughing.) Then I see Jude leaning over and speaking something in Korean to the kids. The girls start squirming. 

Me: "Guys. It's the same word, yes, but many people in America have the name Dick. It's not weird."

Jude: "Big dick."

Me: "Jude! No, that is not ok." (everyone is laughing). 

Jude: "Sorry. Teachu? Brown is little, so little d....."

Me: "Jude!!! That's enough. Continue and you get a check on the board."

Jude: "No. Sorry Teachu. Sorry."

(Kevin, Intae, Danny, Chris. I had to give them candy to get this shot.)

(Part of "the bad class". Boris was absent, and others are hiding.)

~

And the last funny story is from one of my reading classes (which I have no pictures of). 

I have a student who named himself Obama recently. 

I had a teacher, Junho, come up to me last Friday after work. He was laughing and goes:

Junho: "Do you have a student named Obama, used to be Jack?". 

Me: (Laughing)"Yeah, I kind of gave him that name. Is he one of your kids too?

Junho: "Yeah, he asked me yesterday where you lived. I asked him why and he wouldn't answer. Then he asked how old you were. I said I didn't know. And then he says 'Are you 30? Are you going to marry Lindsey? You no marry Lindsey.' 

Me: "What?!"

Junho: "Yeah. So weird."

Then Obama comes to class the next Tuesday. We start class and Obama raises his hand:

Obama: "Teachu, where you live? (One of the kids then shouts out that I live in Hongdae.) Hongdae Teachu?"

Me: "Umm, why are you asking Obama."

Obama: "No Teachu."

Me: "Ok."

Obama: "Teachu, how old?" (Another student yells 25. Another yells 30.)

Me: "I'm 25 Obama."

Obama: "26 Korean Teachu."

Me: "Umm, yes, 26 Korean." (They count your age plus one for time since conceived.)

Obama: "Will you marry teachu?"

Me: (Laughing) "Umm, one day yes."

Obama: "Soon teachu?"

By this time the kids are all laughing. 

Me: "Maybe."

Obama: "Junho said he is boyfriend teachu. You marry Junho?"

Me: "Umm, maybe."

Obama: "Teachu!"

Me: " Ok, no more questions Obama."

15 minutes go by .... Obama raises his hand:

Obama: "Teachu, where you go this weekend?"

Me: "Sleeping Obama. All weekend, sleeping."

Obama: "Teachu!"

Me: "I know, it was crazy."

Obama: "What you eat Teachu?"

Me: "Umm, what did I eat? This weekend?"

(A girl next to Obama shouts "stalker!!" and all the kids start laughing. Obama starts laughing too.)

Obama: "Teachu, I ask what you eat?!"

Thursday, I'm on my computer before classes start, and I hear a faint "Teachuuuuu" coming from the doorway. I look over and Obama is standing there hiding, calling my name. I said hi, but he continued to just stand there. I would go back to the computer and he would start whispering again "Teachuuuu." Eventually after about five minutes, he runs into my class, gives me a half eaten can of pringles and says "present" and runs out. 

Last I've seen or heard from Obama. 

It's 25 degrees outside ...

... and my boiler isn't working. Which is what produces the heat in my apartment. Not just any heat either, it's heat that comes up through the floors. Eh.

When I go to bed at night I wear a long sleeved shirt, a sweatshirt, two pairs of sweats, socks, a wool beanie, a scarf tucked into my sweatshirt, new wool gloves (thanks sis), all wrapped up nicely under the covers. For years I've always thought if I slept under the covers I would eventually die of suffocation. Even with this fear, I've had no choice the last few nights, but to sleep under the covers and risk my life. So far, the carbon dioxide hasn't killed me. 

Must have a shitty comforter. 

Merry Christmas!!!

It's already Christmas in Seoul, in case you were wondering. Shops have officially begun the decorating. Vintage stores already have their ugly sweaters displayed (which I must say is awesome to still see in Korea). And most importantly .... Starbucks is SCREAMING Christmas. Which I think might be a louder scream than in America. Really. 

And all I can think .... what about our day of thanks Korea? What about the celebration of my birth KOREA? Are these things of no importance to you Korea?!?!

Well, I'm going to show you what's up ... Korea. I'm gonna party that last week of November like it's 19effin99. Thath righ. 

Obama Be Da Man

It's not everyday I talk like that. It's not any day that I talk like that actually. But for today, I'm granting free passes on every action and emotion because it's a day of celebration!!! That is, every action except for rude Korean's actions .... only allowing free passes for the American's actions today folks. (Ok sister, linda, emily, katie, you know I be lyin. I be speakin like that e'rey day!)

President Obama! It has a great ring to it doesn't it? Such a profound day. In obvious respects it's profound for all minority races in our country. The first African-American president. It's ground-breaking. But more so, it's profound to me because of what it has brought, and will continue to bring to our nation. Unity. Progress. Change. 

This is one man, who I've loved for over two years. I still remember when he was a pretty fresh face in the senate and my friend, who happened to be from his neck of the woods, informed me all about the man. All about his history. His views. What he was starting to do in the senate. And from there I became interested. I saw a man with a lot of potential. A very eloquent speaker. Who would have thought, just 2 years later, he would be voted in as the next president of the United States?! 

If one man can essentially walk in from off the street, into the Presidential seat in four short years, think of what he can do in four more. I truly believe his potential is endless. I'm so hopeful for what's to come. 

And now I'll leave you with some fun patriotic memories of the past two days:

Yesterday I was wearing a red dress, some shiny navy american apparel tights, and a navy sweater, and some cowboy boots. My kids brought up my outfit ... on numerous occasions ... some thought is was a "very attractive outfit". Some younger boys thought is was a little "weird". And then one kid noticed that the colors were patriotic. But in his mind, patriotic for Korea. 

Of course I lied and said that it was partly for Korea, but partly for America because it was a big day back in the States. 

Then a child by the name of Jack raises his hand, "Teachu, I don't like Jack."

Me: "Ummm, you don't like your name?"

Jack: " Yes Teachu." Makes a horrid face. "Don't like Jack."

Me: "Ok. Do you want a different name?" PS, he's had this name for an entire term.

Jack: "Obama, Teachu?"

Me: Laughing a bit, "You want your name to be Obama from now on?"

Jack: Shrugging his shoulders, kinda nods his head, unconvincingly. 

Me: "Alright. Everyone, put your things away it's time for your exam!" Boos and 'ahhshhh' echo throughout the room. 

Me: "Well, the test loves you too. Now put everything away."

After the test, we start going over essay one for the day ...

Me: "Alright, paragraph one, sentence one, Obama! Please read."

Laughing errupts throughout the classroom. Obama is pleasantly surprised I used his new name, while also being embarrassed at the amount of laughter. 

I continue to call Obama by his new name throughout the class. And then, in hour two, Obama has a request. 

Obama: "Teachu! Can I change Obama?"

Me: "Umm, well, why do you want to change it?"

Obama: "Teachu, McCain!"

Me: "Uggghh, I don't think you want that name." My kids all know how I feel about McCain and Obama, but Obama likes the fact that he is defying my likes at this point. "Alright. McCain it is."

15 minutes go by. McCain raises his hand. I know what's coming. And I'm not a pushover. Not normally, but I was in the patriotic spirit and was just glad the kids where talking about it at all!

Me: "McCain?"

Laughing throughout the class. 

McCain: "Teachu, I want name 'Osama'!"

Me: Laughing as I'm thinking "Hell no!". "Ummm, no. But you can go back to Obama if you want?"

McCain: "Ahhhsshhh. Teachu?!?!"

Me: "Nope. 2 names maximum. You are back to Obama, Annnnnd, we're moving on!"

Other good quotes of the day:

"We can go back to the States now!" - My friend Carrie as Obama was announced the winner on TV.

"We don't have to leave the country now!" - My 85 year-old Nana to my sister after the announcement

"I thought maybe you and Nicole had left the country already?" - My Great Aunt to My Nana after not being able to get ahold of her this morning.

"I'm naming my first born Barack Obama Hampton" - Brother Kyle a couple hours after the announcement. 

"My friend says you need to name him Barack Hussein Obama Hampton. It'll be torture, but you need the whole name." - Me

"Ok. That'll work. Call him B-Hoh though." -Kyle

"If you name your kid Barack Obama, I will promise to make him my favorite nephew and spoil him rotten." - Me

"Maybe he can be half black too?" - Kyle (Something Kyle needs to figure out. But chop chop if B-Hoh is going to be President one day.)