A Change is Gonna Come

There is something to be said for the weather in Korea. From the time I arrived, up until a week ago, the weather has been humid. It is usually pretty warm, and if you're running around or just walking briskly in your day, you're going to break a sweat ... in a matter of seconds. I don't like that sticky kind of weather. I'm used to crisp air. Humidity just makes you feel dirty. Like you need to shower a few times a day (which I just don't do). 

But then last week, as the humidity stuck, the air got a little cooler. Maybe around 65 degrees (Although people were saying it was 75. I'm not so sure.) But the weirdness of it, there was a gloomy fog clouding the air. One day, we woke, and there was this thick gray cloud, and it covered the entire city. You couldn't see any skyscrapers. The air felt heavy. The humidity felt worse. You weren't really sure if you were breathing in air/pollution, or just pollution. When I went on my amazing hike that overlooked all of Seoul, we could only see parts of Seoul. The thick cloud was covering everything off in the distance. 

Yesterday, I stepped outside of work to get some coffee from this little place behind my building. The couple that owns it is young, they speak pretty good english, they're incredibly kind, and, well, they like Obama. So every time I go there, I end up talking to them for a bit. As I was saying goodbye to them and heading back to work, the woman stops me and says "tomorrow (some word I don't know in Korean)." I didn't understand. "What?" "Tomorrow, freeze." "Oh really?!" Secretly I'm thinking, "This is awesome. I've been dying for some cold weather. I hate the effin humidity." But then she starts trying to explain that tomorrow, winter will start. I'm confused because to me winter is gradual, so I figured she just meant it's like the official mark of winter. 

Then as I left work last night, I realized that my long-sleeved dress wasn't cutting it like it normally does. Walking home there were extreme winds blowing. And there are never any winds blowing in Korea. My hair was flying everywhere. My dress was acting like I was back in San Francisco. Even the street vendors where packing up early and calling it a night. Something weird was happening. Throughout the night it got colder and colder. I could here the winds blowing outside against my building. And unfortunately, I hadn't tried to figure out my heating system because I thought I had a few months left of mediocre weather. 

When this morning came around, I realized the lady at the coffee shop was right. It has begun to freeze. Literally, in one night, the weather has completely transformed. The winds that generally blow from the west, have now shifted to the winds from the north. And I thought I knew wind living in the Bay Area. Those winds aint' got nothing on Siberian winds. And to think, the coldest point of a Korean winter is in January!

It's going to be a long and brutal winter. 

A Week of Awesomeness

I've had a very packed week and a half, to say the least, but it's been packed with great things that I've been needing to do, and wanting to do. 

The first awesome thing on the list: Seeing LCD Soundsystem! I went with my friends Carrie, Leah and Tessa. There's no easy way to explain what the show was like. It was really good, but because we were in Korea where clubs are strangely different, it was almost bizarre-good. The club was packed. Arm, overlapping arm. There were lots of foreigners, as well as plenty of Koreans. All of which seemed to be obnoxiously drunk. So much so, I actually threatened one guy that I was going to punch him in the face if he didn't stop hitting me intentionally. To which he replied that he wanted to make it up to me and kept grabbing me. To which I responded by shoving him in the stomach to get away. 

We danced our little hearts out on the stage. It was a lot of fun. There was an odd intermission show between sets, in which drag queens and male dancers in their underwear came out and did a little song and dance for us. LCD Soundsystem ... male dancers. The two don't mix. But, this is Korea. That's all I can say.

On the way out of the show we met some cool guys that were also from the states. We got to talking and it ends up they are actually friends of my friend Sean's. They were also very cute boys, which made all of us girls leave the show feeling a sense of hope of finding hot, and totally normal boyfriends. (Let me tell you, we all have had our share of weird guys here thus far in Korea, so normal boys that happen to be cute, and cool, are a huge deal!) It essentially made our night 20 percent better. 

(Carrie and I at the show.)

(Standing around before the show.)

Throughout the week I accomplished so much more than I have in months being here (or so it felt). I successfully had internet installed as well as got a gym membership! Two things that seem so easy, but were so hard to do with the language barrier. 

Another amazing thing I started this week ... Korean classes! I'm taking 4 hours a week of intensive classes. Already, in two sessions, I have learned the entire alphabet! It's so crazy! To think I've gone two months being illiterate, and now I can read! Well, I can kinda read. It takes me a long time to sound out words still. But now, on my subway rides home, I try and read all the signs. I try and read all the posters on the walls of the train. Everywhere I go, I'm trying to decipher what things are saying in Korean. It's a good feeling, but at the same time, as I was telling my sister today, it sucks to only be this far. Usually when you learn a language, you at least have the alphabet down. You just go straight into learning vocab and sentence structure. But with a lot of Asian languages, you first have to learn new alphabets, which are a bunch of foreign characters. It's daunting. But, at least making this first step feels pretty awesome. 

I was also able to get out and go for a hike this weekend. It was the craziest hike of my life. I went with my friends Sasha and Heather. Heather had figured out the mountain and path for us, Sasha and I just had to show up. The hike started at a Korean Temple. It then proceeded to go straight up for an hour! It was no joke, and Sasha and I were completely unprepared. It wasn't so much hiking, as it was scaling giant rocks which make up the mountain! It was insane. We managed to make it to the top which looks over the entire city of Seoul. It was so amazing! I wish I had some pictures to share. My friend Sasha has some which I'll have to share later. She also caught one of me sliding down the side of a rock, holding on for dear life. And this was just before I took a fall down another rock! There was really no helping it. I think we all took at least one fall during the hike. Our shoes were just not made for that kind of hiking. We ended the hike with a nice little muscle building routine on the built-in exercise equipment that they have at the base of the mountain. One of the coolest things, and craziest things, about hiking in Korea, people actually do it on a regular basis for exercise. So to make sure they're getting in a full workout, most of the mountains have built in work out and weight machines for people to use. It is so awesome. We had so much fun on them, and we got so many looks as we were working out and laughing loudly. 

Another awesome experience this past week .... Dr. Fish. The pictures do it more justice. Essentially it's a pedicure place where miniature piranhas eat all the dead skin off your feet. I was so against the idea of going, but decided I should at least experience it once. And once is all it will be. You can tell by my face in the first picture that I was freaking out before putting my feet into the aquarium of fish. The feeling, once again, cannot even be explained. It tickles so badly. There are dozens of little fish gnawing at your feet. Some of them gnaw a little harder than others I might add. I was definitely the biggest wuss out of everyone and couldn't put my feet in for the full 20 minutes. More like I put my heels in for most of the time, and dipped the rest of my feet in for 10 second increments! It was just too weird feeling. 

(We went and devoured street food after Dr. Fish. My first helping of street food in Korea! And it was delicious.)

My last and most successful thing of the week .... I cooked my first Korean dish! I had been wanting to cook Korean food so badly. It's really hard when you don't have any kitchen space. And I mean absolutely none ... no counter tops! Every time I walked into a grocery store there were so many new and interesting foods that I wanted to try, but didn't know how to prepare. Finally, I decided to just look up a recipe online. And what came out was a dish called Ddeokbokki with Gochujang sauce. It's essentially just rice cakes with cabbage and onions and whatever else you want in it. I made it all from scratch, even the sauce!  It was/is so delicious. I'm still eating the leftovers. Mom, you would be so proud. :)

(My first home-made Korean meal!)

Oh and another reason this week has been so great, my Mom has decided to vote for Barack Obama!! For all of you that know my parents, you know this is an incredible thing. My parent's are ... Republicans, I guess that's the best way to put it. My Dad is a hardcore Republican, let's just say that. They vote along party lines ... always. 2 days ago, I spent a bit of time trying to convince my Mom via skype, to vote for him. I guilted her by saying that America needs to be spreading it's wealth so that 3 of her 4 children that are poor can actually try and survive! Yes, I'm dramatic, and she knows it, but with the way John McCain was laughing at Obama for suggestions of "spreading the wealth" in the last debate, I was determined to let her know she can't vote for a man like that. And she hates Sarah Palin anyway. 

 Now we just have to keep working on my Dad! My sister has informed me that she will give him a milkshake for coming over to the other side. And for all of you that know my dad, he loves milkshakes. I know, we're talking a president for a milkshake. But he really likes the things. He even makes bets/deals with my friends for them, for example "Date my son and I'll give you a milkshake." "If the Ducks lose, you owe me a milkshake." "Break-up my son and his girlfriend over Christmas, and I'll give you a milkshake." You think I'm kidding! My Dad is a funny man.

This one goes out to you, Obama

I officially got my vote off in the mail today! It felt almost ... liberating.

The past couple weeks my kids have been mentioning the election a lot. They see it on the news, on the cover of every newspaper. I'll be riding the subway and look over to the man on my left who's reading a paper, and welp, what do you know?! There's a big picture of Obama. Sometimes it's Bush. Never is it McCain. I take this as a good sign that Korea knows what's good for them. 

My kids like to remind me each week that Obama is a black man. That John McCain is white. They also like to mention that Obama is "gangsta", to which I reply, "He is pretty gangsta isn't he?" My comment usually illicits responses such as "And he robs banks teachu." Annnnd then I take my comment back.

I informed my class today that a vote for Obama is a vote for Korea. This confused them immensely. I then said "The US makes money, Korea makes money. Good for you and for me!" Then students started saying good things about Obama. They love money. 

So I'll end it with this. Make your vote this year, a selfless vote. Our country is at a breaking point where it shouldn't be about each of our bottom-lines. This vote should be about an entire nation's bottom-line. It's about the world's bottom-line. We have the greatest affect on the rest of the world. So when you vote for the next president, I hope you're thinking of what will help out our country and the rest of the world, not just your pocketbook. 

And that is all. :)

Tales of a Stalker

That's right, a Stalker. Got myself one of these last weekend and it aint lookin' too pretty. 

So I went on a date with a random Korean guy that I met. He just approached me out of nowhere and we started talking. I thought he was really cute, good style, was interesting, well traveled, spoke good enough english that I could semi-understand him, and well, I just kinda figured "why the hell not try it out?". 

The date encompassed going to a house-music club. (Ummm, let me just say this- it is not the best choice to go to a club for date numero uno, that is, if you have the right intentions. And every girl knows it. So do yourself a favor if you actually want to date the girl, and don't take her to a place where she can't even talk to you. Anyhow, TANGENT.) So we are at the club, I figure I might as well just dance because that is all I can do.  What does my date do? He just watches me and smiles, and keeps trying to hold my hand, yes, I repeat, hold my hand while I'm dancing to house music! Needless to say I kept rejecting the hand every chance I got. I lived through a couple hours and said I was going home. Call me what you will boys, I aint lying to myself or the boy that I just am not having a good time. I tell him to stay, but he insists on leaving with me. Alright, great. 

I forgot to mention that I live in the club district. So the date was in my hood. So as we are leaving, I intend to just walk it out all the way home. Well, my boyfriend decides he would like to walk it out with me. He goes for the hand. I try and reject it, but he wins. Then he grabs my purse, which is slung across my body. I'm like, "What are you doing?" "I hold." I am then reminded, when Koreans date, the guy always holds the girl's purse when they are together. So boyfriend here felt the need to hold mine. I resist his gesture by tugging downward on my bag. He puts his finger to my nose, smiles, and says, "You are beautiful. My angel.". How do you fight with that? I let him take the purse, and he puts his hand right back into form. 

We continue to walk up the crowded street and boyfriend asks if we can see a movie on Friday. Okay, first a club, second a movie? "Nooo", I say. "Why?" "Because we can't talk in a movie. I don't know you. I need to get to know you." "We talk after movie. Drinks after movie." Egh. "Maybe." He smiles, "Movie Friday!". Double Egh. I then point out he should catch a cab here, and I'm going to continue to walk home. He insists however that he walk me all the way home. I insist that he doesn't, but again, I lose. I let him walk me to the main street that runs in front of my road, and I tell him he can't go any further. He looks up the road "Veeeerry Dangerous! Bodyguard!" And grabs my hand and tries to walk up the road. I don't budge. "No, no, no." I make him stay. He agrees to stay. Then he starts counting down the days until Friday "ieeeshhh! So far!" "Umm, it's five days." I tell him goodnight. He gives me a hug and proceeds by heading for the lips. There is no chance in hell tonight. Really, honestly, not even 10%. Maybe 5, but still, that's 95% working against him. I start backing away. Another couple starts to walk up my street, I get embarrassed and I start to really take off. As I walk away I hear "goodbye!". I turn around and wave. "Goodnight!". I wave again. "Goodbyyyeee!" I start to walk faster and just don't turn around. I can hear the couple behind me smirking. 

For those of you that know me well, I'm in pure hell. PURE HELL. It's torture. I don't like when guys are too nice. I don't like when they hold my hand right off the bat. I don't like being complimented that much, it shows insincerity! Hell.

So I make it home, and I realize I probably shouldn't go on a second date, but I'm going to get some advice from my friends that have dated Korean guys tomorrow, and see if this kind of thing is normal. They ensure me the next day, Sunday, that it's kinda normal. Korean people move fast and loooove to be affectionate. Korean girls eat that kind of stuff up. They love to be treated like children as well, so guys cater to this. It's such a weird dynamic for me to accept. So with advice from my friends, I decide I should go on a date with him again this Friday and give him another chance.

But then Sunday evening comes. I went to dinner and a movie with another friend, and while there, I receive 5 missed/avoided calls from boyfriend. I turn my phone off for the movie. I turn it back on, and by the 11th avoided call, I decide boyfriend needs a text. "Friends first. Too fast. You must stop calling, slow down." Boyfriend calls again. I pick up the phone in frustration. "Hiiii." "Hi! You are angry?" "Umm, not angry, too fast for me." He continues to tell me he is worried all evening that I am upset with him. I assure him, I'm not upset, just tired, but that he needs to slow down. He continues by telling me I'm the one. That he has fallen for me. I tell him I think that is crazy, and that he knows absolutely nothing about me. He doesn't care. He feels it. He knows, we are meant to be together. And I'm already thinking restraining order. 

He then goes on by asking about Friday's date. I tell him I forgot I work until 10pm, so I won't be able to make it. "Saturday then." "Ummm, I might have to work Saturday actually." "Coffee in morning, before work, movie after work." "Nooo, maybe just coffee." He persists with evening plans, so I just say fine, whatever, because I have no intention of going at this point.He then tells me that he would like to see me more. I say no. He asks if I will come to Japan with him on holiday in 2 weeks. I say no. Then he goes back to asking if we can do something Friday when I get off work. I say no, I hang out with my friends after work, we always go to dinner and drinks. He asks if he can come, I say no. He says he will wait for me then at my subway stop when I am coming home. Ummm, no. If that is the case, I won't be coming home. I reiterate he must slow down. He can't see me until Saturday. He starts complaining. He says if I won't see him, he will come to Hongdae (my area) and wait for me some nights. "Nooo, no, no, no. You cannot come to Hongdae. You cannot look for me. NO!" He starts to assure me "Not stalker. Not stalker? Word? Stalker?" I assure him, that is the correct word. He says he just needs to meet with me before Saturday. I tell him it just cannot happen. I then tell him he is scaring me by saying he will wait for me at my stop after work. He doesn't seem to understand what the word scary means. I try instead to say he must go slow. He must just be my friend. I don't even know him, so it must go slowly. He says, "Ok. Slowly." "Yes, slowly." "ieeesshhh. Ok." "So you won't come to Hongdae?" "Maybe." "Nooo! Not maybe! you will not come to Hongdae." "Why???" as he starts to complain. This lovely conversation goes on for another 20 minutes before I finally tell him I have to go.

Monday, he doesn't call once. Wow, he must have really decided to back off and go slow about things! That's great. 

Tuesday comes around. 5 calls in 30 minutes and eventually I decide to just turn the phone off for the rest of the night. 

Wednesday comes around. 4 calls and I again just turn my phone off.

Tonight is Wednesday night. I've already re-routed my walks home. I've tried to delay coming home each night for as along as possible. A number of my guy friends have offered to help, but I don't want them walking me home every night! Last resort .... new number, new apartment, no dating Korean men? ieeesshhh.

Misery: a state or feeling of great distress or discomfort of mind or body

There are few things more annoying than waking up to a faint buzzing noise around your face. The faint, zipping noise, that triggers an automatic response of "get the hell up!".  And no, I am not talking about an alarm clock. I'm talking about a mosquito. 

Had this morning been any other morning, I may not have freaked out so badly to have a mosquito flying around my head. But this morning was different. This morning marked the day after I was bit 11 times by effin mosquitoes. Yes, yesterday, somehow, while teaching my classes, I managed to get bit 11 times. And not just anywhere, but only on the upper half of my body. No, I wasn't wearing pants with no shirt either. And where are the majority of the bites? On my face! And what's more annoying and a little weird, they are only on one side on my face! I have 7 bites on one side on my face. It feels ... swollen. And these bites are so awful. I'm not sure if it's because I'm new to the area and they just feel like biting extra hard to give me a warm welcome, but the bites are like big swollen lumps! And they exude heat and itch like crazy! 

So this morning, as I woke, I happened to see a mosquito sitting on my wall. I was really tired, and any other day I would have left it, but today, I was determined to kill it. 

Smack! 

Got the sucker. But then I realize, he must of just bit me because that is some really bright red blood smashed on my wall. I clean it up, and try to go back to sleep. As I'm lying there, I look up and see another bastard. I know he is just waiting for me to shut my eyes so he can make a move. Luckily, the side of my face they've been devouring is facing down. I figure, hey what the hell, I'll just fall asleep and hope he doesn't eat me. But then I get uncomfortable and manage to turn over in my sleepiness. And of course, with the delicious side of my face up, I realize I am dreaming of a faint buzzing noise. My mind is so upset by the thought of mosquitoes I shoot up, half awake, and jump out of my bed! I see the sucker fly off and I chase him. 

Smack!

Got the other jerk! But then I realize, he too got a good bit in before I got him. 

Such a small thing to agonize over, yet such an annoying thing to live through. 

Today I made sure I wore no perfume, tried to drink less water, had covered arms, wore my hair down, wore white (yes I looked up what attracts mosquitoes last night) ... everything to ensure I would not get bit. However in class I see some of the little buggers flying around. I'm teaching, and I had asked a student to read one of the paragraphs out loud to the class. As I'm asking him to do so, I see a mosquito fly by my face. I become distracted. Steven begins reading.

And Smack! 

"Damn it!! Shit, I mean ... Dang it! Sorry!" Steven becomes silent and I hear some smirking as the class looks up from their desks. "Sorry guys! I keep getting bit and I'm trying to kill these dang mosquitoes!" Some of the students look confused, a couple new students look appalled. I show them my face and my arms ... everyone gives me a look of understanding .... Steven continues on.

I was only bit four more times today. Thank god for dehydration.

The Beauty in Life

(The fam with Great-Grandmother, before Colin and Kitman)

This past week has been a grueling one. And well, when life is grueling, who really wants to hear about it? So I haven't really been blogging, or should I say, writing. But I'm feeling back to writing, so I've decided to blog about my past week.

So, about a week and a half ago I was having all of those drowning thoughts about home, and San Francisco, and "why am I here?", "why am I not there?", and about friends, and past relationships, and "what am I running from?", and everything along that line and back again. I knew that point would hit me. It's inevitable no matter where you go. And as everyone has been reminding me, those same thoughts went through my mind when I first landed in SF, but they eventually faded and now look at home much I loved my life in SF! There's always a positive side to look at, but there are always those moments where it's hard to look at the positive. Where every little thing that is Korean irks you the wrong way! When you just get tired of smelling kimchi and garbage everywhere you walk! Not to mention, the slow-moving crowds can be a lot for any American to take. 

But then I received news last weekend that my grandmother had passed, and I received it via email. I came home from a much needed day away from the city, out hiking with friends, getting fresh air, to find an email from my sister with the sad news. It's such a weird thing to sit down at the computer, feeling good for the first day in several, and all of it fades away in a moment's time. Of course, it all felt so much worse, because I am so far away. I also had no way to contact my family. It was 6am their time, and truth be told, I never wrote down phone numbers before I left the US. I just kept them in my old phone! I know, I know, I've learned from that mistake. It was just a very helpless feeling. Her passing was very unexpected. She had been living with Alzheimer's for some time, but the last time I talked with my granddad or mom about it, she seemed to be doing better, at least not getting any worse. 

What was hardest of all was not getting to be there with my mom. I feel a great closeness to her. She means everything to me, and her losing her mom, brought up a whole slew of emotions. I see so much of my mom in me, and so much of my grandmother in my mom. It's just a very sad thing to lose someone so significant that has shaped the life of your mother. 

My grandmother was a beautiful woman with a good heart. She raised three beautiful girls who are amazing mothers, who in turn have raised amazing children with big hearts. And I think her influence will continue for generations. She somehow let three girls grow up to be individuals with very different lives, who all still have beautiful minds and open hearts. It's an amazing task if you think about it, and for her grandchildren to all turn out semi-ok, is also pretty amazing.

So I worked my way through the week. I have a lot of distractions here in Korea, so I was able to get in a good amount of "distraction" time, as well as "alone" time. It can be hard when something like this happens and you don't really have those close bonds/relationships with people yet, so you can't really talk about it with those around you. But it can also force you to be stronger and to really rely on yourself. And that can be a really good thing. 

So I made it through the week. But not without getting sick. I just drained myself in every way possible, and now I'm stuck with a cold. Yeah. 

But I will say, during the week I really did a lot of thinking about life. As cheesy as that might seem, I think sometimes it's the best thing to just sit back and think about life and what's important. Family is important to me. And living out my desires is also important to me. There is a big part of me that would like to travel on for a couple more years, and see where life takes me. And there is another part that wants to be where my family is. To be there in some of their last days, and some of their first. I'm looking at where to find my balance. There's nothing more rewarding than the love you get and give within your family. I've been lucky enough to have a really amazing family that has given me so much love. I just don't want to take that for granted. But I also want to have an open heart and share that kind of love with the rest of the world.

(Me and the grandparents)

(Grandmother, Mom, Me - looking crabby, and my Aunts)

(Me and the beautiful lady)

Things Making My Seoul Happy

A stairwell of roses.

Recyclables hanging as art.

Bibimbap. Delicious. 

Seeing greenery ... anywhere.

Random installations. 

Blocks of rice for breakfast.

Korean babes and their dogs named "bean paste". Really. 

Buddhist monks chanting.

Plastic monks at all ages of life.

Buddha's Relic.